I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize