I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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