I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
where am i from again
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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