There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
