his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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