I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
