Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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