my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
