what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Four minutes until I can fart!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
