I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
