so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
