so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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