yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
