Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize