he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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