We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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