He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So much rum. So many feels.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
