I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Shame is for Republicans.
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