So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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