I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
