I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
