Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
