The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
