Little spoons don't ask big questions
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
