It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
