Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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