I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
