I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
