Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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