My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
