This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
