That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
