so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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