i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
