i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
