you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
