Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
