So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
