i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just pee around me
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I have post one night stand depression
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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