I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
