My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
