Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Randomize