She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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