can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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