What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
