Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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