i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize