is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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