why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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