The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
