he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
