i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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