just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
