Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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