i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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