Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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