U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
