I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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