You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
