You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
