I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
