first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize