youre lurking in front of me
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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