I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
