Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
