If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize