McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
